Magic lay all around us...
As any true Twin flame is aware, relentless signs and synchronicities are a defining part of the Twin flame union. I can truthfully say that when I felt the soul connection with Xavier (as written about in My Path so Far) there was a definite and profound sense of knowing, as well as an immediate bond and deep love for him, but throughout the whole time we knew each other there were no strange signs or synchronicities surrounding our meeting. Whereas from the moment I met my twin, extraordinary occurrences began to take place. These weren’t vague happenings that we took to be signs, but powerful and mystical incidents that we couldn’t fail to take notice of. It was as if magic lay all around us.
After he went away, the synchronicities didn’t stop, in fact they increased, which was confusing to me at the time. I couldn’t understand how he had cut me off so forcefully and abruptly and yet the universe was blatantly telling me that I hadn’t imagined his love. After the initial shock and devastation, I noticed something strange about the signs that I was being bombarded with. It seemed that when I was in a state of grace and knew without a doubt who and what we were to each other, then the signs and synchronicities came poignantly and effortlessly. For example, one day I thanked the universe out loud for continually showing me his name (I was seeing it or hearing it multiple times a day at that point). Minutes later, when I arrived at work, I switched on my computer and saw that an email had arrived with the new monthly internet password. I scrolled down the screen and in the middle of the random letters and numbers that made up the password was my twin's name. In the three years I’d worked at that office, not once had the password ever contained a name.
My true identity
In stark contrast to this, what I have consistently noticed is that when I have slipped into the ego and succumbed to a fearful state of mind, then no matter how much I beg or plead, no answers come. At first I thought this was extremely cruel. I mean, why would the universe ignore me when I was suffering so deeply? But then I thought back to all the times when I knew the truth without doubt and the universe reaffirmed it immediately, in such amazing, complex ways. I knew, then, that if the universe answered my wailing, demanding, fearful false self, it would be confirming that the ego existed. It would be rewarding me for being on the wrong track. It would actually encourage the ego to grow stronger, whereas what it chose to do was reflect clearly and eloquently when I was on the right track; when I was aware that I was a soul and not the made-up false self that had been plastered over the top of my true identity.
Imagine a beautiful flower growing and reaching towards the sun. Next to it is an ugly weed. To reward the weed with water would be to encourage its growth in the misbelief that it exists and that it is relevant. We know that there are two choices on offer to us; two paths; one of truth and love and one of falseness and fear. All the universe wants is for us to know that the only thing that is real is love and to act accordingly. As long as we dash back and forth between the two paths, we will suffer. Our soul will never lie to us. Can you imagine if all the times that we have been on our knees begging and crying, we were placated with signs? What would we end up doing? We would actually become more fearful because we would feel that we had to suffer and doubt and be afraid in order to be heard and comforted. We would be being encouraged to walk down the wrong path, falling deeper into fear and illusion, wandering even further from home. No matter how afraid or hysterical we get, God will not mislead us. He will not feed the false part of us, because he wants us to be free. By withholding light from the false self, he is helping it to wither and weaken.
There is nothing more beautiful than receiving confirmation in perfect alignment with your own soul. I have been shown patterns and symbols of which I had no idea what they meant, only to discover afterwards that they are signs of the Twin flame union. Songs that I have been given at poignant times play again at significant moments; the exact time I had just discovered what one of the symbols meant; the exact moment I realised I had failed to show gratitude for this amazing love and knelt and prayed with deep reverence. Always at a heart-stopping moment when I have had a breakthrough the signs come, and I am humbled once more at the perfect intricacy of the universe.
Furthermore, I know that if all of this is happening to me, then it has to be happening to him too. And no matter how much his ego self might label it as a coincidence, deep down he knows otherwise, and a part of him will be smiling wryly because he knows that from the very beginning the universe has been guiding us towards each other.
Interactions with the divine
Shortly after beginning work on this piece, I was walking down a country lane with my dogs thinking specifically about how I must finish writing it. I thought back to the day before, when in reaction and affirmation to a fear I had faced in regards to my twin, I'd received numerous signs, including a van pulling out in front of me with his name on. I felt a pure knowingness in my soul that these things are not coincidences but real and beautiful interactions with the divine. As I reached the end of the path, I stepped out onto the pavement and another van passed directly in front of me, again with my twin’s name written on the side. Because of the way the road bends, there was literally only a space of 1-3 seconds that the van could have passed directly in front of me. I thought about how I’d stopped at various places in the lane while the dogs chased squirrels, how I’d paused to put their leads back on; all the little details that had made me reach the exit the moment that I did; the exact moment that the van with his name on was passing by. As always, the timing was perfect.
‘Finish the article’ the universe seemed to be saying. ‘You know it’s real. And we know that you know it’s real, and we just gave you one more sign, just so you would know that absolutely everything - every minute, tiny detail is predetermined with the utmost complexity. It is all planned. It is all inevitable. It is all written. Now go tell the others that they might stop doubting themselves.’
We used to believe
It really is such a magical, perfect path that we are on. It is inevitable that sometimes we (as the ego-self) will have our moments of desperation and doubt, and that is because we mistook ourselves for the ego for such a long, long time. We used to believe when we were children. We looked up at the stars and we just knew there was something more, but then we got worn down and conditioned and we lost our way. Then our twin arrived and opened up a whole new world to us again. It is a world where we want to stay; a world of beauty and fate and destiny and perfect love. All the things we have been taught are too good to be true, and yet now we know they are real, and that they have been inside us all along just waiting for us to remember.
And the best part of the journey is that we can’t get lost. Our souls won’t let us get lost. If we open our hearts and our minds, we will see that every beautiful sign, every perfect synchronicity, comes to tell us that we are closer than we think; like a chain of beautiful lights, our way home is being exquisitely and intricately lit.