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  • Writer's pictureBy Marianne

Twin Flames - Why Depending on Outside Validation Delays Reunion.

Looking in the wrong direction...

As I mentioned in My Path So Far, I believe that every time we look outside of ourselves for confirmation of our Twin flame union, we are fully in the ego. I am specifically talking about having psychic/twinflame readings in order to appease fear and gain some sort of outer validation.

Recently, I read online about a woman who’d had ten Twin flame readings with different ‘experts.’ Seven out of the ten experts said the man she was asking about was her Twin flame, while the other three said he wasn’t. How can this have helped her? The key thing to realise here is that the desire for ‘proof’ comes from the false self. It’s scared and afraid and it wants instant gratification to calm its pain and unrest.

The knowingness of your own soul

Now, let’s just say that you do decide to have a reading and you’re told that the person you’re asking about is indeed your Twin, and furthermore, they're coming back to you soon. How long would this prediction satisfy you for? Would your fearful mind truly believe it? Or would it be relieved for a day or two and then surge up in fear and doubt once again. Likewise, what if you get told the opposite? That, in fact, they are not your Twin. How would this make you feel? Would you really take somebody else’s mind-based opinion and let it hold sovereign above the knowingness of your own soul? Would you feel suddenly released from the connection just because someone told you that you hadn't met your Twin flame?

Whatever answer you get from a reading, it will not help you. The reason for this is simple. There is nobody out there who has the authority to know whether you have met your Twin, except for you. If somebody claims to be able to tell you this, then they are acting from their ego. They might not see it that way, but that’s because the ego is very clever at adopting a spiritual persona (yet another false layer to add on to all the rest we’ve acquired). Just the other day, I saw a twitter profile where the lady claimed she was ‘fully qualified’ to tell you whether you had met your Twin or not. How can anyone be qualified to tell you about your own soul?

Desperate for validation

Believe me, I can understand the desperation for validation when your Twin has cut you off and you are in great pain, but honestly, it will not help you. The very need for a reading, however, gives you a great clue. The need actually draws attention to the very thing you should be concentrating on – which is awakening. You've been parted from your Twin in order that you might be free of pain and free of the illusory false self, but the irony is that the part of you that's hurting and searching for confirmation, is the very part of you that is not real. For a while, this part of you will be desperate and devastated, but eventually you will start to sense that something about this whole earthly situation doesn’t add up, and that it simply can't be right to live with so much fear and doubt.

The true part of you is not frightened because the soul knows exactly who it is and who it is not. It may long to reunite with its entire essence but it doesn’t fear losing it, because it knows that is impossible. As long as you mistake yourself for the false self, you will be frightened. Maybe you’ll be like the other lady and get ten readings or more, but where will that get you? It will get ‘you’ nowhere, though it might entertain the false self for a while. Carl Jung said, ‘He who looks outside dreams; he who looks inside awakes.’ Deep down, you know this is the ultimate truth. Why would we want to waste time running around in the dream asking other characters to confirm or deny what we already know? This physical parting from your Twin was inevitable. It came about so you could finally start to unravel those false layers and rediscover the perfect you that was there all along.

The universe is giving you a choice

There are many clues staring us in the face on our Twin flame path but we often miss the obvious ones because we are so afraid. It is simple really; the part of you that is afraid and needs validation is not real; and the part of you that knows without doubt or hesitation, is your soul. Your soul. Are you really going to let somebody else’s mind take charge of your experience? Do you really think that there is somebody out there who can magically heal or alter both you and your Twin’s destiny in order to speed up reunion? What is really happening is that the universe is giving you a choice. It will give you the freedom to take as many detours as you want, while it waits patiently for you to remember that the only person who holds the key to this whole majestic mystery, is you.

So are these people that offer Twin flame services and readings wrong to do so? How can they be? They are simply mirroring back a need that originates from you. They are reflecting what your false self needed them to reflect. That is why every encounter we ever have is a clue as to whether we are acting as the false self or being our true self. You will know when you have slipped into ego because you will hurt, you will doubt, you will suffer, and you will be caught up in the dream of separation, whereas the soul is self-contained. It knows that every answer to every question that ever was, is part of its own creation. It looks beyond the dream. It knows itself as eternity. And it needs confirmation from no-one. Even when the surface of the dream looks impossible, the soul knows the truth of itself, and it will not mistake either its own or its Twin’s temporary costume, for who it really is.

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